There’s a new book that’s just out: The Resilient Parent: Everyday Wisdom for Life with Your Exceptional Child, by Mantu Joshi. In it, Joshi, a stay-at-home dad and minister, offers short, personal essays that demonstrate how to shift our thinking away from “this is so hard,” to “I’m resilient. I can do this.”
I asked our community on Facebook how they found resilience as parents of children with ADHD and other neurobehavioral differences, and they came through in a big way! Courtesy of A Mom’s View of ADHD Facebook page, here are 30 ways our readers foster resilience in their lives:
1. Talk with friends who understand.
3. Take 5 minutes to read the Facebook page for A Mom’s View of ADHD.
4. Take your camera, hop in the car and spend an afternoon capturing images of nature that soothe your soul.
5. Remind yourself that you are enough. When you know better, you do better. It is a journey.
6. Crank the dance music and have a dance party in the kitchen! (And if your kids are around, ask them to join you!)
7. Read a book, alone in a quiet place.
8. Every day, take “me” time to let frustration and anxiety go. Take 5 deep breaths. Tell yourself during this time: I am not a perfect parent, I am a good parent. My kids are not perfect. They are good boys. Perfect is boring.
9. Have your child tell you what he or she thinks is awesome about themselves.
11. Create a good support system who may not live it but they love you and your children and they honestly listen.
12. Find reasons to praise your child’s special qualities to build him up.
13. Knit! It gives you something to focus on and create while still being able to be present in the chaos that often is our lives.
14. Remind yourself that your child’s struggle is his struggle and he is not defiant or difficult by choice. It’s about him, not you. That helps you not take the daily struggles personally, and lets you celebrate the daily mini-victories (like matching socks- on a good day!) with him.
15. Alone time.
16. Get a massage.
17. See a psychologist or therapist.
18. Take time with your husband, wife, or partner after the children are in bed.
19. Girls night out with your best girlfriends! Nothing like hearing you aren’t alone in your troubles!
20. Go out a night or two a week!
21. Celebrate the good times with scrapbooking, photos, home videos.
22. Play music very loud when alone in the care.
23. Join a tennis team (or another sport). You’ll see a great group of women every week, it gets you out of the house to exercise, and keeps you focused and balanced. It is a low commitment with a high pay-off.
25. Go to the movies by yourself.
26. Admit it’s ok to not be ok every once in a while
27. Tell yourself that if your kids are angry with you it means you’re doing it right!
28. Accept your reality.