28 ways to be a more resilient parent

resilient_parent_cover_smallThere’s a new book that’s just out: The Resilient Parent: Everyday Wisdom for Life with Your Exceptional Child, by Mantu Joshi. In it, Joshi, a stay-at-home dad and minister, offers short, personal essays that demonstrate how to shift our thinking away from “this is so hard,” to “I’m resilient. I can do this.”

I asked our community on Facebook how they found resilience as parents of children with ADHD and other neurobehavioral differences, and they came through in a big way! Courtesy of A Mom’s View of ADHD Facebook page,  here are 30 ways our readers foster resilience in their lives:

1. Talk with friends who understand.

2. Pray.

3. Take 5 minutes to read the Facebook page for A Mom’s View of ADHD.

4.  Take your camera, hop in the car and spend an afternoon capturing images of nature that soothe your soul.

5.  Remind yourself that you are enough. When you know better, you do better. It is a journey.

6.  Crank the dance music and have a dance party in the kitchen! (And if your kids are around, ask them to join you!)

7.  Read a book, alone in a quiet place.

8.  Every day, take “me” time to let frustration and anxiety go. Take 5 deep breaths.  Tell yourself during this time: I am not a perfect parent, I am a good parent. My kids are not perfect. They are good boys. Perfect is boring.

9.  Have your child tell you what he or she thinks is awesome about themselves.

10. Sleep!

11. Create a good support system who may not live it but they love you and your children and they honestly listen.

12.  Find reasons to praise your child’s special qualities to build him up.

13. Knit! It gives you something to focus on and create while still being able to be present in the chaos that often is our lives.

14.  Remind yourself that your child’s struggle is his struggle and he is not defiant or difficult by choice. It’s about him, not you. That helps you not take the daily struggles personally, and lets you celebrate the daily mini-victories (like matching socks- on a good day!) with him.

15.  Alone time.

16.  Get a massage.

17.  See a psychologist or therapist.

18.  Take time with your husband, wife, or partner after the children are in bed.

19. Girls night out with your best girlfriends! Nothing like hearing you aren’t alone in your troubles!

20. Go out a night or two a week!

21.  Celebrate the good times with scrapbooking, photos, home videos.

22.  Play music very loud when alone in the care.

23.  Join a tennis team (or another sport). You’ll see a great group of women every week, it gets you out of the house to exercise, and keeps you focused and balanced. It is a low commitment with a high pay-off.

24.  Silence.

25. Go to the movies by yourself.

26.  Admit it’s ok to not be ok every once in a while

27.  Tell yourself that if your kids are angry with you it  means you’re doing it right!

28.  Accept your reality.

Adrienne Ehlert Bashista is the co-editor of and contributor to Easy to Love but Hard to Raise: Real Parents, Challenging Kids, True Stories, and is also the author of two picture books about Russian adoption. She’s had stories, essays, and articles published in a variety of journals, both print and on-line. She is the owner of DRT Press. She was a school librarian for many years before giving it up to devote more time to the rest of her life. She chronicles her adventures raising her son, recently diagnosed with FASD in her blog, A Square Peg, a Round Hole. She also writes for the blog for Easy to Love but Hard to Raise and her writing/speaking website is adriennebashista.net. She lives in central North Carolina with her husband, two sons, two dogs, 21 chickens, and a lot of bees.

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adhd and stress, ADHD stress, Adrienne Bashista, BOOK REVIEWS, resiliency ·

About the author

Adrienne Ehlert Bashista is the co-editor of and contributor to Easy to Love but Hard to Raise: Real Parents, Challenging Kids, True Stories, and is also the author of two picture books about Russian adoption. She’s had stories, essays, and articles published in a variety of journals, both print and on-line. She is the owner of DRT Press. She was a school librarian for many years before giving it up to devote more time to the rest of her life. She chronicles her adventures raising her son, recently diagnosed with FASD in her blog, A Square Peg, a Round Hole. She also writes for the blog for Easy to Love but Hard to Raise and her writing/speaking website is adriennebashista.net. She lives in central North Carolina with her husband, two sons, two dogs, 21 chickens, and a lot of bees.
  • http://burbstoboonies.blogspot.com/ Stephanie in Kansas

    Fabulous tips! I was actually surprised to find I do a lot of these. I love the FB page. Just knowing there are others who go through some of the same things is so helpful. I’m sorry others struggle, but I know there are people who “get it” and understand. And I pray. Every. Single. Day. Exercise also really helps me, as does a nice scented candle or a cup of hot tea.

The "ADHD Mommas" are not medical or mental health professionals, nor an ADHD coach. Any opinions shared here are just that, opinions. I, and the other "ADHD Mommas," are sharing our experiences with our own ADHD children. Please do not re-post or publish any content or photos without a link back to {a mom's view of ADHD}. Have the courtesy to give credit where credit is due. Copyright protected. All rights reserved.

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