There is no such thing as ADHD.
He’s just being a boy.
You just need to be stricter. You’re not being tough enough parents.
If ADHD were real, why didn’t it exist when we were kids?
If we all received those due nickels we would be rich.
Of course, when someone says those things to me I’m usually too dumbstruck to respond appropriately. It isn’t until much later that I often think of what would have been the perfect response, only to forget it by the next time it happens again. So I thought we could draft responses together so we all know what to say next time. Here are my first attempts at it. Please add your comments as well.
The thing is that there is such a thing as a bad kid. There are kids who have the capability to keep their act together, act politely, communicate effectively but they choose not to.
But that is not my kid.
There is also such a thing as poor parenting. There are parents who offer no boundaries and no consequences. There are parents who spoil their children and create children who feel they are entitled to everything whether they behave or not.
But that is not me. Please don’t misunderstand me -I’m not saying that I am the perfect parent. But our house is a structured house. My kids follow specific routines, which I believe gives them security and helps them to feel grounded. They have a set bedtime and don’t get to eat any dessert if they didn’t finish their dinner. I bet most parents of children with ADHD would argue that they might even be firmer than “normal” parents. We use behavioral modification programs, sticker charts and everything you can think of to encourage good choices. We have to do those things to survive.
I would like to tell these people to walk a mile in my shoes. Be clear my parenting experience is not the same as yours. Of course your child is not perfect but most “typical” children don’t require the level of energy and attention my son requires of me to help him get through the day. I’m sure you’ve experienced your “normal” child getting overstimulated on a playdate. It is not so uncommon to get overly excited while playing with a friend. They get a little silly. They get a little hyper. They may even get roped into making bad choices. That is my son most of the time. The overstimulated, hyper child is the same for me when he is home trying to do his homework. He doesn’t switch gears like your child does. There is no down time.
I would like to say to these people who spew misconceptions that there is a difference between my son and other kids. That is not to say that I don’t think he is wonderful just as he is. But this ADHD is real. Make no mistake about it.
What would you say?